Thursday, February 12, 2015

Week 5 Storytelling: That Darn Ravana

Chapter 1

“Heeeyyy Maricha!” Ravana called out, “Wanna do me a huuuggee favor?”
“What is it this time?” asked Maricha, rolling his eyes.
“You know about that dude Rama…?” Ravana began.
“Well, uh…. I want you to help me take his wife.”
“WHAT?” Maricha asked, certain he had heard his crazy nephew wrong.
“You want me to help you STEAL someone’s wife. Are you crazy? And of all people, Rama’s wife?! Don’t you know how powerful he is? He’d kill us all!” Said Maricha as he tried to convince his foolish Nephew
“He can’t hurt us. He’s only a human. I am THE demon god. I get what I want when I want it.”
“I will help you, but you need to know that it will end my life.” Maricha said with sadness.
“Whatever. You’re just being dramatic.” Ravana said as he walked out of the room. “Let’s go”!”
Maricha followed Ravana to his chariot in sadness, performing a little funeral on his way, accepting his fate.

Chapter 2

“What a beautiful day!” Sita said to Rama as they were walking in the meadow.
“It truly is such a wonderful day.” said Lakshama to the couple.
“Oh LOOK!” shrieked Sita with excitement. “It’s a deer! A golden deer!”
“Wow! That’s a really pretty creature.” said Rama as he inched toward it to get a better look.
“I don’t know….” Lakshama began, “A golden deer. That has to be a trap…”
“Oh quit being so negative!” Sita said, “It’s a wonderful, rare animal. The gods sent it to us, for us to keep!”
“No! Look at it. It’s like…… hazy. Last time I checked, animals weren’t supposed to be holographic.” Lakshama said, realizing the truth. “It’s a Rakshama. We shouldn’t get near it!”
“Catch it honey! I want it! It’s so beautiful!” Sita said over Lakshama’s warning. “It’s SOO Pretty. Let’s keep it as a pet!”

“It really is pretty; I’ll try to catch it. I’ll just be careful.” Rama said as he picked up his bow and arrow.
Off into the forest he went, after the beautiful golden deer.

Chapter 3

“I knew it would work!” Ravana said in excitement.
“My fate has come. I hope I die quickly.” Said Maricha as he ran further into the forest, enticing Rama
“Man, this deer is fast. He keeps weaving through the trees. It’s almost like it wants me to get lost!” Rama thought as he continued after the deer.
Maricha stopped, as Rama’s bow finally hit his side. He screamed in pain, but his voice was replaced by Rama’s.
“OWW! Help!” Maricha screamed as he took his final breaths.
“It’s Rama!” screamed Sita, “GO help him! He’s been hurt!”
“No, Rama cannot be hurt, it must be that stupid Rakshasha furthering his trick! Why can’t you see that!”
“HELP HIM!” Sita screamed, “How can you not help your own BROTHER. Go after him!”
“Fine, fine. You stay here. I’ll go make sure everything is okay like I’m sure it is.”

Chapter 4

Ugh. Sita is so stupid. It’s obviously a trap but whatever.” mumbled Lakshama as he walked into the forest.
“Dude. What are you doing here?” asked Rama as he bumped into Lakshama. “You should be watching Sita. You know how she tends to get into trouble.”

“HELLLPP!!!! NO! DON’T TOUCH ME!” Sita screamed in utter terror as Ravana captured her and carried her to his chariot. 

Image of Sita, Lakshama and Ravana with the Golden Deer
Provided by Wikipedia

Author's Note: I took the story of the golden dear in a more modern twist. In Ramayana, Maricha and Ravana plot to take Sita from Rama. While technically they succeed it causes death to Maricha, who has taken the form of a golden deer, and complicated a war against the Raksashas and Rama. In my story, I inserted dialogue between characters to add more personality, as well as modernize the story. I also incorporated a theme and message at the end of inevitable death and karma.

Bibliography: Buck, William (1976). Ramayana: King Rama's Way. 


  1. Gloria, I like how you decided to only use dialogue. It really keeps the reading pace fast and the reader intrigued. Furthermore, I liked how you showed several characters as annoyingly selfish. For example, Ravana in chapter one and Sita in chapter two are so selfish they just care about what they want over Rama’s and Maricha’s safety. I also loved that you made Lakshmana the voice of reason. He said exactly what I was thinking in chapter four.

  2. Gloria,
    I loved your story! I liked how you used so much dialogue. It made the story very interesting and also very funny. I liked the part where Lakshmana was thinking that Sita was stupid. and that he was never fooled by the deer! I also like the part that you put in about Ravana talking to Maricha about helping him. It really shows how selfish Ravana is. He doesn't care if Maricha dies. He just wants Sita.

  3. Gloria,

    What a great twist on the story! I actually really like that you used modern language. Sometimes I find that these stories can become confusing, so using modern language is a good way to make it more understandable and clear. I find that I like using modern twists as well! You used mostly dialogue in your post which I also liked. It is good to put in background story, but sometimes using dialogue is a good way to make your story short, sweet, and to the point. Personally, that is my favorite kind of story. I also agree with you, adding dialogue is a great way to add personality! Great story with a clear focus! Good job!

  4. Hello Gloria! I really liked the way you rewrote the story of Sita’s abduction. It was interesting that you started off by Maricha knowing he would die if he helped Ravana capture her. Also, I really enjoyed how Lakshama was skeptical about letting Rama go after the deer. The way you described the deer as being holographic was a very creative way at looking at it! Overall great job. The way it was divided into chapters made it very easy to read.

  5. Gloria, I really liked this retelling of the story. The use of a more modern form of dialogue felt easier to read and was also amusing! Sometimes it gets difficult reading the Ramayana with the formal tone it's presented in, and you definitely took away the formal feeling. Your use of dialogue also gave the characters a lot more personality which made it more enjoyable to read. Ravana was portrayed as stubborn and selfish and Sita felt a little air headed and naive. You did a great job, and your writing style was excellent!

  6. Hello Gloria, Your story is the most unique one that I have read so far! I like how you decided to use all dialogue throughout the whole story especially in modern language. It makes it easy for readers to understand .

    This story is one of my favorite parts of the Ramayana. I felt like I was apart of the story more because I felt each characters personality. Great Job!