My initial impression of your songbird story is that it is good. It was easy to read – well done. I was surprised by the twist on the plot! I think one way to improve upon this story would be to add specific instances or dialogue that demonstrate how the songbird tormented others. Although you wrote of the love these birds felt by the creatures of the forest, your portfolio website itself didn’t confer the same feeling. I realize this is minute, however, I know that I would be more willing to ‘buy in’ if the background and text font contributed in some way to the content of the tale. Also, in some areas of the text you switched between present and past tense; I made this error in my stories SEVERAL times as well, but I just thought I’d mention it to you. I find it ironic that you write about a songbird because just last week I saw a songbird get picked off by a falcon (terrible, I know).
Hi Gloria, I just wanted to write on your wall and tell you that your story from Week 5 That Darn Ravana is so uniquely told that it still sticks out in my head. I liked that you decided to only use dialogue. It is something that is extremely risky, but I believe that you pulled it off. I just wanted to let you know that your story has a unique form that I believe works.
Hi Gloria! I just want to say great job on your portfolio! Your stories are great! They are very detailed and it seem as though you put a lot of effort and time in writing your stories. all your stories centered around a theme too. I think The Songbird's Fate was my favorite. I like how you focused on Valmiki's point of view when he saw the songbird's death. You also revealed how the bird's death was the significance of karma which was really important in the story of Ramayana. You nailed that part. I also enjoyed reading your other stories. I could tell you did put a lot of time into writing them. I haven't seen any major grammar issues. I really like the layout of your page too. It's simple and pretty! Nothing too crazy where it will be hard to read. Overall, I thought you did a really great job on everything. Your stories were very descriptive and detailed. You had great themes in your stories. Keep up the good work!
Hi, Gloria! I am commenting on the design/layout of your blog. I really like the simplicity of your blog and how easy it is to navigate throughout the different tabs. The purple against the green background in your header looks really great and appealing to the eyes. The picture you have above for your comment wall is super cute too :)
Hello Gloria! I like the color you used for you blog. Purple and Green is a very unique choice, but it goes very well in your blog. I also like the white back groud you have because it makes the blog more stand out! Your lay is very organized because you have it all organized ! By the way, I love the picture you have put on the comment wall!
Hey, Gloria! Great job on your portfolio! You have some pretty cool stories in it. You have a good talent in writing and I think that’s super awesome! You use great details in order to tell these stories and to grab the attention of the readers. I can tell you have a very creative imagination. Your entire portfolio looks really good and the layout of your blog is nice. I enjoyed reading your songbird story. It was easy to read and the flow and pacing of the story was great and I think that was what made it easy to read. The twist in the plot was surprising, but that was something else that peaked my attention. Overall your portfolio, as well as your blog site looks great. The picture of you above is so cute! You look so happy :) Good luck with the rest of the semester girl!
Hello Gloria!Thank you for your comments on my storybook. Hanuman is definitely a little underrated and that is one of the reasons why I chose to do my storybook over him. He played a very important role in the Ramayana and definitely deserves more attention. I'm glad you enjoyed reading my story. P.S - your meme for the comment wall is hilariously cute!
Gloria great job! Very nice work on your portfolio and it definitely is one of the top in the class. Congratulations on being chosen by everyone as a top project. Your writings were all done so well and they show how much creativity you have. Also, your layout is very good and makes your blog very easy to explore. I read a couple of your stories and each one had a great element that you were able to showoff. As Christina said, the twist at the end of the songbird story was unexpected but it brought the reader right back into the story. Great job!