Sunday, April 5, 2015

Week 11 Storytelling: The Fate of the Disobedient

“Dad, I’m so sorry! I didn't mean to be out that late!” began Ferra as she was startlingly confronted by her father who was posted waiting in the living room.

“You KNOW that you have to be home for dinner. Do you have any idea what time it is?” her father sternly stated, attempting in vain to hide his anger.

"I'm sorry! It won’t happen again! I promise!" she said with sadness.

“You’re going to have to prove yourself,” he said trying to be understanding. “If this ever happens again, you’re going to be in some serious trouble."

“I promise! This is never going to happen again,” Ferra said as she gave her forgiving father a hug.

A few months went by and Ferra was the usual good child that she had been her entire life. She feared what would happen if she disobeyed her father and knew better than to cross him. 

Ferra managed to keep her promise, that is, until this incident happened again. 

"THAT'S IT!" her father screamed as she, once again, attempted to sneak into her home without her father noticing.

"You're in serious trouble, Missy. I gave you a second chance and you blew it. What were you even doing? It's midnight! Dinner is at 7 o'clock every day. I was patient until 8 o'clock.... and then 9 o'clock came and went and then 10 o'clock rolled by, and you NEVER answered your phone. Do you know how worried I was? Do you have ANY idea what that feels like? To have no idea where your kid is?"

"Well, no. I'm not a parent," Ferra thought as her father looked at her with angry eyes. She suppressed her sarcasm and expressed another apology.

"Really, Dad. I'm sorry. What do you want me to do? How do I make it up to you?"

Ferra's father was silent as thought for a moment before he came up with the perfect solution. Suddenly, it came to him. His eyes lit up and Ferra saw evil wash over his face. Her father smirked as he looked at his daughter and dictated her punishment.

"So….Ferra…” he maliciously began.

"Think of your most HATED task. You know, one I never make you do because you hate it so much? The one that I always do because I'm just such a nice father? Now dig deep," he arrogantly and teasingly stated. 

Ferra's face dropped and her eyes filled with terror as she realized what was happening. 

"Oh God. No. Dad, ANYTHING else. PLEASE. Please, don’t make me do it. Dad! Anything!" she begged.

Her father giggled as he realized the genius of his plan.

"Come on. Why don't we start right now?" he said as he walked toward the back door.

"Dad! No! PLEASE! Anything else! Don't make me pick up the dog poop!" Ferra wholeheartedly begged as she hesitantly began to walk toward the back yard.

"How long are you going to make me do this?" she asked already dreading the answer.

“Every weekend,” her father replied.

“Forever?!” Ferra gagged as she filled with fear of the impending doom of dog poop.

"Oh, no, of course not forever,” he said, hardly settling Ferra’s worry.

“Then how long?” she hesitantly asked.

“Oh, you know... We will see, but I'm thinking until, well, you're married!" he said teasing her as he grabbed his sulking daughter's hand.

Image of Father and Daughter
Provided by Pixabay

Author's Note: I wrote this story based on the story of the Eleventh Goblin in the story of The Twenty-Two Goblins translated by Arthur Ryder. In that story a King falls in love with a Fairy and asks her to marry him. She agrees to marry him as long as he lets her disappear four times a month. The King cannot hold back his curiosity and follows her. The Fairy is swallowed by a giant and the King nobly saves her, or so he thought. The Fairy was punished to this fate of being eaten because of an issue she had with her father long ago but she does not remember the pain of being eaten until the King "saves" her. I found the back story so incredibly interesting. In writing this story, I explain the series of events that led to her fate with her father in a modern-day situation. I changed the Fairy to "Ferra" and used a different story-line but the plot stays similar. Both the Fairy and Ferra were late and needed to be punished. While it may not seem so to Ferra, the severity of the is drastically reduced in this modernized story. The end of my story hints to the fate of the Fairy in the Twenty-Two Goblins when she meets her King and is married.

Bibliography: Twenty-Two Goblins by Arthur Ryder (1917)


  1. I found this story to be pretty humorous. I know exactly how Ferra feels about picking up dog poop. Ew, it’s pretty gross and can also be pretty time consuming. I always just wanted to run it over with the lawnmower and leave it at that! I have seen a few stories from Twenty-Two Goblins, and it may be my Un-Textbook story for next week. Great job!

  2. Oh nice story! I was a little confused at first but realized you're doing the un textbook version. I thought this story was pretty funny! It highlighted a father and daughter relationship. It was pretty cute! I know the feeling of picking up dog poop... it sucks. In a way I can relate to the little girl...I'm kind of a daddy's girl and my father would always yell at me when I was young when I come home late. This story is really cute and interesting! I think you did a great job! Keep up the good work!

  3. This story is pretty funny, and I really enjoyed reading it! The way you organized the dialogue helped the story flow, and it was extremely easy to understand. I'm not familiar with the original story since I'm not reading the Un-Textbook, but your version is so relatable, and it's hilarious! I definitely had to pick up dog poop as a kid and I HATED it. It is just nasty! But it needs to be done so the yard doesn't get nasty. That Dad is pretty clever thinking of this way to punish his daughter. It's not cruel, but it's harsh enough to really leave an impact on her! I'm a little confused by the author's note describing the original story. I assume the the Fairy gets eaten every day until she's married, but I'm not sure! I like your version, and it gives a modern story of what happened between the fairy and her father. Great job!

  4. I really liked your story, and I can't decide if I really liked that it jumped right into it or if I would have liked a little more background information on the characters. Usually I like to know exactly who I am reading about and how they relate to the stories that we read in class, but your story seems to work pretty well the way it is so I am on the fence about it, maybe you could put your author's note at the beginning and that would tell me all I need to know without altering anything. Now that I'm through the story (I write these as I read rather than after I read) I definitely think the author's note should be at the beginning because I'd never read the original and had absolutely no idea where you were going with this because it's entirely different from anything in the reading unit. The lessons learned are the same, but the girl having to pick up dog poop has no relationship to it.

  5. Hey Gloria! Congrats on getting nominated as one of the portfolio favorites! I read some of your other stories but I hadn't come across this one so I thought I would give it a look and I really like it! I love the back and forth dialogiue, especially. I think dialogue is a great way to keep people more interested in the story and also, its a great way of showing how a character is feeling, their emotions, and their features. I think the story between the dad and daughter that you wrote in a modern setting was very cute! I will agree that it is for sure not as serious (picking up dog poop) as the actual story but it makes seem awful since the girl doesn't know how long she's going to have to do it for. I will have to agree with one of the previous comments about putting the author's note at the beginning. It was an enjoyable read but it probably would have been even more so if I had sort of an idea as to what was going on. But overall, good job!

  6. Gloria,

    Look at you! Nice job making it to the favorite portfolios. : ) You definitely deserve it!

    As I began your story, I immediately knew it was awesome. You started out with a scene that connected to your audience because (most likely) we have all been in a situation similar to this. If someone always made their curfew, then they can relate by being chastised by their parents (because I doubt anyone has escaped that).

    You kept me on the edge of my seat trying to figure out quickly what Ferra’s punishment was. And when I read it I cracked up. Hahaha how funny! I love your modern-day style of this story and also really liked that it was mostly dialogue. You did a great job explaining the original story in your author’s note.

    The only suggestion I have is breaking up your author’s note into summary and reasoning why you wrote the story. It isn’t super necessary, but may help the reader’s eye.